Chasing your stolen car

Loosing Hannah feels like chasing your car that's just been hijacked. You would naturally run after it but ultimately it's futile. You will never catch the car, it's gone and not coming back. 

I keep having to remind myself that Hannah is gone and no amount of yearning will bring her back. She seems so real I'm sure she should be here but it is just like one of those nightmares where you just can't quite reach something. My soul is constantly yearning to hold my little girl and see her grow. It feels as though Hannah was stolen from us and that if I look hard enough I will find her. I have to remind myself that I do have closure and I saw her earthly body which her soul had left behind. I feel for the parents of Madeleine McCann who never had that closure 

A letter to our beautiful girl

(A letter we have written for your funeral)

This is a letter for you Hannah Grace. Our anticipates and loved daughter who we grieve for not being able to get know. We wonder what you would of been like and how you would of shaped our family. How patient would of your big sister been and how you would of asserted yourself? We know you would of made your presence know even as a newborn through sleepless nights and the precious midnight cuddles we anticipated. 

I feel privileged to have held you for 9 months, you were with me everyday of your life. I felt your body as it grew and prepared to be part of our family. Your life was a miracle and a blessing to us. We will forever be changed without you. You were perfectly formed when you were born and so beautiful, we will miss you.

Today is the day we were expecting you to arrive into this world but instead this is a step towards saying goodbye to you. We know you were always only 'on loan' even though it wasn't long before you were called home. We entrust you to our God and we know he has made a perfect plan for you. You may never of seen your mummy and daddy but we believe you've seen Jesus. 

Our beautiful Hannah Grace. We wish we could of spent a lifetime with you. We will miss you so much. Your precious life has gone ahead of us to our eternal home. Rest in the of peace of our creator our much loved little girl

We love you with all our heart 

Mummy and Daddy xxx