Struggling one year since you died x

Today is the day we found out Hannah died. It was a horrible devastating day. That middle of the night trip to the hospital, the lack of heart beat. The negative scan result. The realisation that she was gone. We named Hannah on this day. Still brings me to tears, it's just very sad losing our second little girl. I hate the way this has changed me for the worst. I feel like a shadow of the person I was on some days. 

This morning I lost all my pregnancy symptoms (sickness, thirst, tender breast etc). I am sad to think that maybe this is another failed pregnancy. Can only wait. Not doing pregnancy again if this doesn't work. It's not good for katie or me.